Take it as you might

In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. ~Blaise Pascal

A little faith will bring your soul to heaven, but a lot of faith will bring heaven to your soul. ~Author Unknown

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase. ~Martin Luther King Jr.


* I don't buy the idea that there is no God. How can you explain natural beauty as just chemical reactions and science?"

I was confirmed about a year ago by the Catholic Church. It was a especially trying time this year due to the fact it was the first year, in probably five that I didn't go to an Ash Wednesday service. I'm not a super Catholic and would never feign to be. But, due to certain life events (the death of two friends and two grandfathers I was very close to, and small epiphanies along the way) I have come to appreciate faith. Coincidentally going to a Baptist affiliated college was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

I didn't particularly enjoy going to Baptist services. I felt a lot of times there was a rift between those who were "Bible beaters" trying to beat God into you, those who didn't practice a religion, and those who said they were religious yet partook in underage drinking, sex and other things not very Christian like. Hypocrisy is easily most evident when studying those who label themselves as devout, practicing Christianity...Islam, Judaism, Buddhism and other religions of those radical enough to persecute those who are non religious are just as bad.

I believe that faith is something that can't be visibly shown, nor should you singing songs at the top of your lungs and going to religious student groups make you any more devout than the person who prays quietly in their room.

I do feel that school at Wingate helped me to feel it was OK to be religious. I honestly admire those who are true to their religion. Those who do not make others feel bad that they don't practice or are not as devout. It takes a lot of courage. A lot of my teachers may not have been religious, or maybe they were and I didn't know. Whatever the case I feel that having religion as a small part of my formal education gave my schooling a special feeling. I felt the teachers knew they had a purpose, they weren't just doing this for the money or prestige. There was a mission to give their knowledge to those willing to take the challenge. Part of that challenge is discovering who you are. Knowing yourself. Hopefully I can explain this better one day in the future.


Without faith I don't think that I'd have done half of the things I have done or hope to accomplish. I want to have a nice nest egg but (much to my parent's chagrin) money for me isn't everything. Basically I want to help people. You can't take money with you when you die, You don't really even take memories. But if you leave people with a legacy, then you truly have succeeded.
























Why would God have created mankind if he were only to focus on himself? Helping others, giving of yourself, it's the only way to make you feel whole.

Someone is out there

May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields. And until we meet again, may God hold you in the hollow of his hand. ~Irish Blessing

This weekend we went to a Jimjilbang or better known as a bath house. In this place there are hot tubs, saunas a workout room and people even spend the night. But this post isn't about that, although I will talk of the bath house later. No, I'm actually going to delve into the topic of faith.

The quote above is what I imagine the people that I love that are watching over me must be thinking. Just to recap, I haven't lost too many people in comparison to some but I feel that for being 23 losing three people you're very close to is more than enough.

I lost one of my good friends four and a half years ago to a freak lacrosse accident and a negligent medical staff. We were Sophomores in college just beginning the semester. I was in my own world of joininig a sorority and getting into swimming again. We all had our own agendas. That summer after our Freshman year I hardly spoke to my friends from high school. Call it snobbery but I was a big college girl now, going to school the North Carolina, 500 miles away. I had seen and done things that my friends at home couldn't relate to, or so I thought. It was a friday when I got the news from one of my best friends Casey, and at 8:45pm he was gone.

His death brought my life crashing down and has affected my actions in very significant ways. I still think about him everyday and try to be the best person I can be especially because I know he's in heaven watching over us. I'm not too overtly faithful; however since Mike I have turned to God for a clearer state of mind. I got confirmed by the Catholic church last year and like to go to church when I can make it.

I've always believed that God does show signs and you just have to know where to look and let them find you, not the other way around. I've had a few before, one being my club lacrosse number being the same number as Mike's lacrosse number, without me asking for it.

This time it was very interesting. At the bath house you are given a key attached to an armband with a number on it. I had gotten the number 13 which was Mike's high school football number. Very weird, I thought it was an interesting coincidence. It was only when we got to our lockers that I realized my friend had the number 17 which was Mike's college lacrosse number. Now I'm sure the girl just picked random numbers to give us but I really can't help but believe that it was Mike saying he's okay. I had written a facebook note earlier in the day stating that his death has affected my life in ways too numerous to count and that I think about him everyday.

And so call me looking for a sign or superstitious but when things like this happen I can't help but to have a deeper faith in the life after and that good people really do go to a better place. I miss Mike everyday but I know he's watching over me and for that reason I continue living my life to the fullest.