It's good to have plans. I'm a planner and have been since college. I suppose that's why I was good at Marketing and PR, you plan everything, nothing is ever left up to chance and if it is a good PR practitioner is good at improvising. But lately I feel that I'm planning too much. Due to stress at work and my living situation I feel everyday I want to plan for my future because my present is so miserable. I mean seriously. Imagine you're supposed to be teaching one language and around another language all day. None of your coworkers actually utilize the language either. Planning is the only way to keep me sane these days.
I've been thinking about a lot of things, Ph.D, Master's degree, teaching, writing, traveling. Part of my problem is, that because I'm in a situation where I can't be spontaneous my planning side has taken over. I miss just doing things and having the freedom to. Maybe it's the culture I'm in. Koreans aren't spontaneous, they're predictable and thus I guess I sort of feel trapped, I have no out until April. In collegeI always had this calm side of me. Even when I was stressed out I never showed it. Sort of Scarlett O'Hara don't get mad get even type deal. However, these days I'm always wearing my heart on my sleeve and getting upset or annoyed or completely over emotional about things. I know I'm an emotional person and have to get over that issue. My parents told me and my coaches told me. Without some sort of outlet for me to balance things I'm going to have to suck it up and find my happy place I suppose.
And so lets look back to happier times in fun pictures
Ahhh...Tiff, be patient. "This too shall pass." I love your happy pictures. Stay in that frame of mind, and I have always found books to be my very good friends to take me away from where I sometimes dont want to be. That, plus your hobbies and adventures. Im hoping you will take the time to see more of Korea before you leave. Its a beautiful country. Plus your photography on this end is always enjoyed. oxoxPaula
ReplyDeleteThanks Mrs. Paula, I just sent you an e-mail. I feel that if we had a different living situation that things would be a little different and if the attitude that we've gotten from our director hadn't been so difficult to handle (apperently he's notorious in this area for being the worst director) things would be a little better. With that said I am very happy to have this experiance, its helped me understand more of who I am, not in the sense that a lot of adoptees feel coming to Korea will make them feel whole but just as a person and that now that I've been here and experianced it I do know and can say I'm American, I know where I come from ethnically but America is where I belong...at least for now :)
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