I'm backkkkk

So there has been absolutely no activity on this blog for a very long time. I'm considering renaming (it'd still be the same address) and rethinking some goals that I have. I'm getting back into running after a long bout of laziness. I'm planning on running the OBX Half- Marathon in November with a few other races between now and then.

I'm starting to like being at Myrtle, it isn't my most favorite beach town, a little too commercial and touristy but I am at the beach and can go surfing enjoy a laid back lifestyle and enjoy being in the South. I do miss being in Baltimore especially with football season coming up but, who know what the future holds. For now I'm happy with my new part time job at a really nice restaurant, going to the beach and being close to my friends. Oh and getting Waffle House.

Sweet Carolina

Finally back in South Carolina. After being in Central America the heat here is nothing and I'm having a good time just relaxing. I had a proper Southern breakfast of eggs, grits and biscuits and gravy. I'm just excited to be back in a place where it's all about Southern style. Central American actually reminds me a lot of the South. The people are SO nice, food is great and the unique language and dialects are so interesting.


Also interesting the things you do see here. Por ejemplo: Laser, Dentistry, Implants.

Only in the South.

El ultimo dia

Today is my last day in Central America and in the Latino American culture. After a rough time in Panama city I'm glad to be back with some Ticos and in a place that is a bit quieter than San Jose to just collect myself and feelings. I really have loved my time here. Everything has been such an experience and has added to my need to do something worthwhile in my life. Just learning about the countries in school you never really understand how different each is and what a different feeling you get just crossing a boarder. I only went to Costa Rica and Panama but both countries are immensely different and should never be mistaken for the other.

What I love about being here is that everyone is proud of who they are and what they are. Sometimes in the States you come across people who are not what they are or who they are and more often everyone looks to trends and whats popular to determine how they should act. Down here there is a universal culture that governs a lot of things which is nice. Each country has their own special events, dances and styles that separate them from others; but they are unified by language and being Latino.

I also have loved meeting so many different people. I'm super good at reading personalities and most of the people that I have met and will continue to keep in contact with have been amazing. I feel so humbled when I meet people and maybe my Spanish is better but then I realize that they speak English and their third language, French is their second, they normally speak Swiss-German but can switch to German is they need to. I definitely need to refresh my language skills. On the plus side I can understand most Spanish (Buenos Aries accent still is not very nice to me) and have had good hour long conversations. Win.

I'm really going to miss it here and the thought of looking for a job isn't that enticing to me but I now have a goal in mind for when I do have a job and my passion for wanting to help others hasn't been subsided.I'm only sad that everyone couldn't see this for themselves. I'll be home soon though and have some AMAZING pictures to show. To my family and friends I miss you all and can't wait for a trip down South where I belong.

Vagabonda

I've been away from Samara for a few days now and my heart is absolutely missing it. I guess the big reason is that I made such great friends there and now I miss them a lot. The other is that here in Bocas del Toro...life is very different. It's fun there are a lot of bars it's definitely more built up and stuff, and honestly reminds me of a beach town on the Jersey shore. Except for the fact there are locals just chillin outside most of the day. It's harder to speak Spanish here because they just answer you in English no matter if you asked in Spanish. It seems a bit cheaper and less authentic here as well. Just much more commercial.

I was speaking with a local from here who loves his home but it's upsetting watching the place you live and love turn into something you don't like. The culture here is still laid back and people are nice but it's a lot more in your face hustling and wanting your money then in Samara, even compared to Tamarindo. I like it it's different. The colonial and Caribbean styling of buildings are really pretty. It's all how you want to take it in although I couldn't see myself living here as I could in Samara. Though there were a lot of travelers most of them were in for a chill time and not partying every night like they do here. I'm not really into the whole "Spring Break" scene anymore and like to just walk around and chill on a dock.

The locals here are fun if not a bit more aggressive then Ticos...hard to believe but I guess they just see so many travelers that its become culture. People are more of the beach bum type here. Which is perfectly fine with me. I've learned some Panamanian slang which at the moment don't remember, so a lot of good that'll do me. But they're fun here and love to talk.

I'm also doing Scuba diving which for me is amazing. Yesterday I saw a shipwreck and a octopus...awesome! Its really fun and interesting all of the things you need to learn to be certified. I like it though as a swimmer its a totally different scene under the water than it is above. I'm so glad that I'm doing this. You meet so many people that are into diving it's a great community.

So I'll be here for a few more days then head out somewhere else. I'm thinking Panama City but honestly who knows, maybe I'll go back to Puerto Viejo in Costa Rica. Either way it's been wonderful.

La clima, lugares, el partido y soy Tica

La clima, it's a cognate for climate. Apparently one of the downfalls of team U.S.A last night was that they weren't used to the disgustingly humid climate of Costa Rica. I guess it's the same as the Argentina game when they played Bolivia in a higher altitude. Personally I love it. It just makes you more chill. No need to walk fast and get all sweaty or if you do walk fast, prepare to be miserable.

Lugares, I'm in CR. I love it here. Yes, it's super expensive and in most places completely for tourists and you can see the wear its taking on the country. But, you need to see the beauty in everything. Even San Jose is dramatically and tragically beautiful. Most people I've spoken to hate it. It's dirty, and dangerous and just not where they want to be. Which is true but, most of the reason it is that way is because of them. Imagine giving a 5 year old $1000. Obviously they're not going to save it. They probably wont know what to do with it and buy whatever they think is fun. Same as with CR or even Asia. A generation or two ago the countries had nothing in the way of factories their culture was more authentic. Because of tourism and money corruption trickles down because it's human nature. You have to accept the whole country. Yes, Tamarindo isn't really CR but still beautiful in its own way. CR has been in the mainstream vacation for so long I think people forget that it has it's own culture and it's not American or European. Costa Ricans are different from their surrounding countries and their people. Come and have a good time but also realize that just partying and not actually getting into the culture or just speaking English and minimal Spanish wont get you to the real Costa Rica. Or any country for that matter. TO not be a tourist takes actual thinking and hard work. I'll get off my soap box now.

El partido, the U.S.A. soccer game against Costa Rica was pretty intense. Me and a few friends just went to a bar to watch. Of course I wanted the U.S. to do well. Sadly it wasn't the case. The styles of play were super different as I already knew. The climate took it's toll and some calls were a bit off. But it was exciting. Coastaricense love their country, as they should.

Soy Tica, alright people in CR call themselves Ticos. I think it has to do with the way you say CR fast, it sort of comes out that way. My skin is so dark right now that I get mistaken a lot until they see my face. Pretty much everyday it's been happening. Honestly I'm going to go to Panama and sound Tico too b/c they use a different sort of system for speaking., Always with third person singular, no one ever uses second person so it's very distinct. The accent and other words are different too. Spanish like Korean is just normal now. My friends and I were laughing that we can't remember if we spoke to someone in Spanish or English. Yea, we could be speaking more Spanish but we have our own language of Spanglish that is suiting us quite well.

Con gusto

Tamarindo...not really Costa Rica, but still good

Because we missed our buses to Nicaragua, for which I take the blame by not having a watch: we went to a nearby beach called Tamarindo. It's one of the most built up towns in Costa Rica. Por ejemplo, this guy selling us something only spoke to us in English until it got to money of course. We kept speaking in Spanish but with him...always with English. I don't think most people in Tamarindo spoke Spanish at all actually.

It was a good place to go if your sole mission is to relax and have a vacation. If you want a vacation in the real Costa Rica...try some other place not as populated with tourists. It's basically a resort area, high end shops and restaurants. Although most of the surf shops are still owned by Ticos. I was disappointed by the surf actually. Everything said that Tamarindo had great waves. I guess during the times I wasn't there at the beach there were. But for the most part it was a good place for those learning: the surf shops definitely capitalized on lessons. Although there was a nice board for cheap there too, priorities.

If you've ever spoken with a girl that went to Central America they'll probably say something about being whistled at or talked to by the locals. It's a cultural thing, they do it to everyone. In Tamarindo I got my fair share of attention from all. Ticos and travelers alike. Not to be braggy but I think because I'm so moreno (I'm super tan right now) they see my complexion and are like hey, that's cool then they see my face and it's super exotic. I got some interesting sayings this weekend.

Por ejemplo: This guy and woman were in a store and speaking in Spanish, which I heard. It was a bit awkward. Then in English she says what they were talking about..."He likes how you look." Obviously it was awkward for all of us in that area at the moment. Admittedly he was very cute, but, under the circumstance, what really can be said after that? We thought we could leave and go away from the situation...I did say Gracias. But our friend was still trying things on. We did get the hook up on where to go that evening though.

Later at the bar they suggested we met some cool guys from the U.S. They were all cool. Funny thing about traveling, because no one knows where I'm from usually I say Washington D.C. just to make things easy. So We're talking to these guys and they say they're from NYC. I ask where in the city and they said..."Actually we're from Connecticut. No one knows where that is though."

Entonces, the next day was a beach day, flat, flat waves. Nice hot sun. We got back and I guess all of the doing nothing got to me and Sandra because we laid down to rest until dinner and ended up sleeping until 8 the next morning...oops.

The ride home was uneventful if not a bit long. We did run into an arrogant American living hopefully in college because it seemed he didn't do anything but surf or snowboard. I didn't ask how he was able to do all of those things. It was bit annoying to be told that you don't know the place your live (I consider myself a resident)who told me I was wrong to say there were no hostels in Samara. To which I said it wasn't a surf town so why would there be? Some people...

I'm sad about leaving, I'm a total beach girl and it's hard to imagine myself not by the shoreline.

Sun and the sand and a drink in my hand

Yesterday was a day of serious bumming around. We missed our bus to Nicaragua, not so good. But because I had already taken the test for my class I opted out since it would only be the same stuff I had done. So Off I went with my friends Geoff and Kelsey to this awesome beach restaurant Las Velas de Latina. Amazing food at all prices and the drink and drink menu were the best Ive had so far. The vibe and conversation were great.

Geoff had class so after me and Kelsey just bummed on the beach until we had so much sand on our bodies and on our faces we had to wash off. I love just enjoying life and nature and I really hope to be able to coordinate this vibe and feeling in to my life somehow.

Its one thing to visit places and after say..oh that was nice. But I feel that way I am the way I travel, cultures get under my skin and leave a little bit of themselves inside so that it changes the way I see things and appreciate life.

Pura Vida...can mean Pure life, Live pure, Super or as I see it and most of the locals do...Its whatever, just live your life.

Random

I don't have any pictures posted because I'm using the school computer...and this wont be too interesting of a blog. I forgot to add this from the post the other day. While at Lake Arenal when we bought these sweet handmade...real handmade and not made by hand in a factory.

To my sister and sisters in law, do not take offense to what I'm about to type...literally the woman who sold me this bracelet was the most beautiful pregnant lady in the world...ever. She had no make up, no good lighting or anything those magazines and stars use to still look good. I hope I can look half that great if/when I'm pregnant.

Um other than that nothing too special here. Por que no means why not, which we say a lot. And I still want to be a bum and be bumming it in Central America. Since I do have real world experiance I could also probably get a real job as well down here. But why do what when you can be a bum?

I want to be a bum

I've been here for about a week and a few days and from this time I have decided that I want to be a bum. Yes, I like my classes but I like just chilling out more. My friend Kelsey is just at a homestay and gets to hang out all day on the beach at the school. Lucky duck, looking back I totally should have signed up for just one week and chilled for the rest of the time.

Hopefully the rest of my stay I get some surfing in. The waves here are pretty good at time and can get real big but sort of lack the energy that they do on the east coast and most definitely on the pacific of the U.S. There are double sets a lot of times. You duck dive one and and another wave is right behind it. Crazy.

I really am enjoying getting to know people. I went on a trip to Monteverde and Lake Arenal this weekend past. We had a great group of people go and it was really fun. Lots of inside jokes were had and I'm apperently in the works of a new nickname...porque no? The Arenal volcano was AMAZING. Sin palabras. It was beautiful and just so perfect looking. Our guide was really fun and informative. Apparently he usually only has groups of older people so we were a Mega Super fun time.

I'm loving the homestay family too. We eat breakfast and dinner together and during that time we talk and eat and have fun. The twin girls are into playing with my hair at the moment.

This weekend we're trying to plan a trip to Nicaragua. Should be fun...I'll let you know.

Por que no?

Playa Samara

Hola muchachos. Nosotros estamos en Playa Samara, Costa Rica. Hoy es nuestro segundo dia de clases. Me gusta mi clase, profesora y el grupo que estoy estudiendo Espanol conmigo. Ahora tenemos tiempo libre.

Hi everyone. We're at Samara beach in Costa Rica. today is our second day of clases. I like my class, teacher and the group I'm studying Spanish with. Now we have free time.

we have some great pictures to put up but not the time at the moment. It's really beautiful here. I don't know what I was expecting but it wasn't this. It's very tropical but very real as well. It's not like the sort of beaches you see on TV. I really love it here. The people are very real and very sweet. There are so many random things happen: Wild dogs and horses roam free and the pace of life is very slow. It's an accessible beauty that we're taking advantage of. Today we're hoping to go surfing and perhaps take a weekend trip to Monteverde and the Arenal volcano, do some kayaking and hiking.

The people that come to study here are really great too. We've met people from Europe, U.S., Canada and the U.K. It's a nice range of levels. I think that the testing system for placing students is held a bit high. Basically they do an interview of questions because they want to test your speaking, which makes sense. However, one of our friends is a Spanish major at college and was told she needed to prove she should be in a class above the level they placed her because of how she did on her interview. It's frustrating for me as well because I can listen, read and write well. Speaking I get a little nervous, mainly when we need to use specific things such as a question word and a specific verb. Which is hard in English as well. Try it. Using only the "5 W's" and words such as sing, listen and look make up questions about the past... it's hard.

Anyway, we need to go get our boards and hit the waves.

Lata

Fearless

There's somethin' 'bout the way
The street looks when it's just rained
There's a glow off the pavement
Walk me to the car
And you know I wanna ask you to dance right there
In the middle of the parking lot
Yeah
Oh yeah

We're drivin' down the road
I wonder if you know
I'm tryin' so hard not to get caught up now
But you're just so cool
Run your hands through your hair
Absent mindedly makin' me want you

And I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me head first
Fearless
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance in a storm in my best dress
Fearless


I love country and my new favorite has to be Taylor Swift. She's just so full of life young but has an old soul and is definitely wise beyond her years. Every song on her albums has either been written or co written by her. She's extremely talented and though she's typically thin and blond like all teen sensations seem to be, she's uniquely beautiful. Every song she has is like a memory for me growing up in the country and going to school in the South. We just grow up fearless.

In my country

My stay in South Korea has come to an end. I'll miss the food (most of it, boondaggi, no) culture and more of all the people who have come into my life.

I can't be grateful enough for all of the memories that I have with the new wonderful friends I made. My spirit was the most free when I was connecting with people. Seeing beyond culture to the person. There are beautiful souls everywhere and I'm so blessed to have met such wonderful people. The relationships we have in life are the most important. I don't believe that it's how much you talk with someone that determines how close you are with them. I feel it's some sort of unspoken connection that you get. Language barriers don't matter when two hearts truly care for each other.

I love traveling and will be a traveler for the rest of my life. With that said I've discovered you can't really understand a culture until you've lived it. Meaning that you need to be in a culture six months minimum before you can even get over yourself. For the first six months people are usually in the state of "newness" and culture shock. Nothing is really routine until you get over yourself and stop saying "In my country..." or mention how a country is better than the one you're in: you're not in your country. It's all apples and oranges, we need to stop comparing the two and appreciate the differences.

I miss everyone that we left but it wasn't goodbye...it was a see you later

I'm lazy and am NOT writing double

It was my birthday friday and I documented it on Ten Pin Korea...but wanted to share it on here as well.


Enjoy

Birthday Korea Style, part I


Parts two and three :)

Nose bleed seating

So my day didn't have a great start...ok well before school was good. I had gone to the gym for lifting and will go back after school for cardio; breakfast was very Korean with fruit and Bibim ramen.

I had started my first class and elementary grade four, five and six. They're a bit troublesome with acting out and not comprehending things. I have a great student though Heh Sun. She's brilliant and so sweet and makes teaching the class worthwhile. So of course as I'm taking roll about three students say "Teacher...no book." I really hate making copies and was going to put my foot down today. I interrogated them (which in part was also because these girls are a little behind the rest of the class and for them to forget books just infuriated me) to which Heh Sun translated. I wont go into the whole respect thing because you just need to be here.

While this was going on I remembered I had let a student go to the bathroom. Sahng Hyun is a bit mischievous so having to go myself went to check on him. As I was coming out of the bathroom I peeked into the boys room and saw my student with a bloody tissue standing over a sink with bloody water. Gross is an understatement.

Bless his little heart when he said "Teacher, help me." And so after years of dealing this this same issue I quickly took control of the situation. We started by taking out all of the tissue in his nose. It seems that the Korean way of dealing with a nose bleed is to just let it run it's course while you're stuck with pieces of tissue in your nose.

We took the American proactive way of doing things. I got some new tissue out because his were all battlefield bloody. Then I quickly took his nose in between my index finger and thumb and squeezed. We walked out of the bathroom and I had him sit on a chair with tissues and a waste basket made from a drink carrier. It took a few times of me walking from the class to him to get him to find out that squeezing is better than letting it run wild.

I went back to class and maybe five minutes or less he was back. Class was going much smoother now that I was out of a bad mood. It's funny how stressful situations like that can change your mood. It's also nice to know that bratty kids, even really bratty mean kids (Sahng Hyun isn't that bad...just he needs more physical activity b/c he has too much energy) have a vulnerable side.

From here and there

I've been reading a blog about another adoptee who is in the process of adopting her second child from Korea. It's a wonderful blog and it' been helping make my time here as constructive as it can be. I have a super long blog post that will be all about the leaving process seeing I'm still getting my thoughts together; it seems that only those who have been to Korea or taught here can really understand what it's like and even then for some who bask in the glory of being "Western" have a veil over their eyes as to what Korea, Koreans and their culture is really like.

The blog is www.korean-adoption.blogspot.com if you're interested. It seems I'm having problems with blogger and posting links.

Anyway, good stuff...till then

Just lose it

I wrote this when very angry...but the underlying message of my abhorrence of foul language is such that I feel this needs to be posted.


Ever since I was in middle school I knew what curse words were and how to use them. Occasionally they would slip into conversation, at times if I wanted attention or thought I was being cool they'd get more and more time in my speech. at the time I didn't think much of it.

However, upon joining my sorority (You were not do swear in letters...unladylike) and getting to college in general the idea of swearing was vulgar and only for those on the lowest rungs of society. Yes, I had and still do have friends that swear. Most of them aren't bad and usually they're in context of the conversation.

Being in Korea however at least once a day in class a student will say the f-word, the s-word or some version of (the bird) which I tend to ignore. I read up on what others do in this situation

http://forums.eslcafe.com/korea/viewtopic.php?p=1873450

copy and paste the above to get to the web page...apparently you can't create a link to this sorry everyone.

I feel I need to be blunt about the subject. For the most part I do ignore it or give the kid a look and get an immediate "sorry techa." However I suppose this week and the past week I've just had it with this whole situation.

Its disgusting that middle school ages children would say such words around a teacher or any adult. They won't say Korean swears at the Korean teachers, so why should I have to be on the set of "The Wire" everyday dealing with words I don't say because I know the meanings.

On the one had yes I probably am giving them the power. Making them find out what makes me angry. On the other say for instance they do visit an English speaking country after university. Because they've been able to let fly the f-bomb, they wont think twice about using it, thinking it'll get a good laugh out of someone. Yet, come to find out people don't like bad language too much and the perpetrator gets in a whole bunch of trouble at a bar and gets the crap beaten out of them because they can't explain in English that they weren't talking about the guy he annoyed.

I'm trying to teach culture here because though learning English is a part of schooling from 3rd grade on, culture isn't. Knowing what is culturally acceptable is very important. Koreans get annoyed and even angry if we foreigners don't do something right. However, the faux pas of swearing out loud in polite company is tolerated??? It makes no sense and infuriates me.

As stated in the title, I did almost lose it today in class. I gave out an assignment to read and expected the students to start reading...no reading at all. Oh there was talking and a game of who can flip the bird the most at each other. I think this was definitely the final straw. Imagine two little girls giving each other the middle finger. Yeah, if it wasn't my class it'd be a bit funny. But, on the other hand it's absolutely disgusting. It's rude and derogatory and for a country so concerned about being polite entirely hypocritical.

So the result was I just saw red and started screaming at them why they would do this in my class (because I'm American and know what this stuff means) and if they would do this to their parents or their other teachers...note while I was yelling at them I had my middle fingers up as an example of what it really feels like (not very good) and at that point had to leave the class for fear I'd smack the living daylights out of all of their ornery little faces.

Evan taught my classes the rest of the day...since then I've been taking the passive aggressive approach to bratty behavior and all around bad manners, which seems to work okay since I lead them to the teachers room and let the Korean teachers deal with it. I have a week and four days left and I refuse to let this be the overriding memory of that.

Happy Birthday Chi Omega!

"Chi O's were ideal partners for all occasions. They were discrete, desirable, tactful, polite and fun. Every mom dreamed of her son coming home with a Chi Omega..." -David Letterman-

Leave it the Letterman to say just the right thing...

Ahhh yes, Chi Omega the best fraternal organization for women in the world. Of course I'm completely bias because I am an alumna. April 5 is the organization's Eleusain or birthday. It was founded on the campus of the University or Arkansas, Fayettville in 1895 by four very special women. Along with Dr. Charles Richardson (a Kappa Sigma fraternity man who helped to organize Chi Omega) Ina Mae Boles, Alice Carey Simonds, Jean Vincenheller and Jobelle Holcombe.


I was a member of the Theta Lambda Chapter at school. During my time there I held the offices of Panhellenic Chair and Secretary. I was then able to become a member of the All Greek Honor Society, Order of Omega. This opened other doors of opportunity on and off campus.


I joined in my sophomore year and it was probably the most wonderful thing I could have done for myself. I was very hesitant to join a sorority my freshmen year because of all of the drama that seemed to arise from recruitment and rivalries. However, I had met a girl the year before who was just amazing. She was fun, smart, independent and full of integrity. I absolutley loved her. I decided to go out for recruitment in the fall, it was less stressful since there was no quota (the number of girls you can accept) limit, and I got to choose which organizations I wanted to meet. It's been history ever since.

I'm so PROUD to be a Chi Omega and Greek. I get made fun of sometimes for being a "sorority girl" but it doesn't really matter seeing most of the people who say things are non-Greeks and have no idea what they're talking about.

My sisters are the best friends I will ever have. To be clear we're not all best friends and some of the girls (The new members from this year and last) I hardly know. But because we're sisters there's a special bond that those on the outside could never understand. There are special rituals that we have that we can't tell non-members, yes. And no I'm not going to tell you.

But I feel that it's the things that are public such as our values of friendship, career development, community service, scholarship, campus activities, and high standards of personnel are the most important when explaining what makes us different and why Chi Omega is so special to members. A very special writing called the Chi Omega symphony was written by Ethel Switzer Howard on the night of her initiation. Its an absolutley beautiful work of art. This is what all Chi Omegas strive to be and live everyday.

Rho, Beta, Upsilon, Eta, Sigma.

Oh eff...

The amount of times I hear the f-bomb dropped on a daily basis makes me feel like I work in a inner city school. I hardly curse, for me to hear that word and other words associated, makes me feel very angry and uncomfortable...but it's also kind of funny. It's funny because I know the Korean equivilant and sometimes will tell them what the f-bomb means. Their faces get read and they get very embarrassed and apologetic right away. The other thing is imagining what their parents would do if they heard them.

It's kind of refreshing in a twisted way. The naivete of the kids here on certain subjects is nice to have.

I have more but I'm going to eat dinner first. I think I'll post our Seoul trip in Ten pin, then just do a link on here if you're interested.

I'm busy and lazy

Okay, so there are a lot of new things I need to let everyone in on, but I was feeling under the weather last week. And haven't been in the writing mood for a little bit. I have just been pondering things over and keeping stuff inside. Ridiculous moments have been happening and making us wonder what really is the fate of our generation. Sorry it's been a bit but look forward to some long and insightful (if not a bit long drawn, although, I feel I'm actually really good with punctuation and grammar) sentiments.

School time, later.

Tummy Woes

So I had another tummy problem this week. Went to the cool Korean doctor who fixed me up with some medicine and I've felt pretty good since then.

I've just been thinking about stuff so until I feel I have my thoughts sorted out I'm going to refrain from letting it all out on the net. It's coming close to my end date, six more weeks! I can't believe it's so soon. A lot of my good friends are leaving soon too. Anyway, enough of the wishy washiness. I gotta pack for some Seoul searching.




p.s. if you understood the joke you can still be my friend.

Ides of March and Cheezburgers!

So bad things happened on March 15th. Just to name drop, Ceaser... but today, there will be none of that. Plus, nothing really happened lately. Okay, actually I have a great video of my friend's birthday but it isn't uploaded yet. So, lets just have some fun with LolCats! If you don't know LolCats are from this website I can has cheezburger. Its just random pictures of cats with captions in relaly bad grammar. It's the perfect time waster, and it makes you giggle a whole bunch!

Take it as you might

In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. ~Blaise Pascal

A little faith will bring your soul to heaven, but a lot of faith will bring heaven to your soul. ~Author Unknown

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase. ~Martin Luther King Jr.


* I don't buy the idea that there is no God. How can you explain natural beauty as just chemical reactions and science?"

I was confirmed about a year ago by the Catholic Church. It was a especially trying time this year due to the fact it was the first year, in probably five that I didn't go to an Ash Wednesday service. I'm not a super Catholic and would never feign to be. But, due to certain life events (the death of two friends and two grandfathers I was very close to, and small epiphanies along the way) I have come to appreciate faith. Coincidentally going to a Baptist affiliated college was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

I didn't particularly enjoy going to Baptist services. I felt a lot of times there was a rift between those who were "Bible beaters" trying to beat God into you, those who didn't practice a religion, and those who said they were religious yet partook in underage drinking, sex and other things not very Christian like. Hypocrisy is easily most evident when studying those who label themselves as devout, practicing Christianity...Islam, Judaism, Buddhism and other religions of those radical enough to persecute those who are non religious are just as bad.

I believe that faith is something that can't be visibly shown, nor should you singing songs at the top of your lungs and going to religious student groups make you any more devout than the person who prays quietly in their room.

I do feel that school at Wingate helped me to feel it was OK to be religious. I honestly admire those who are true to their religion. Those who do not make others feel bad that they don't practice or are not as devout. It takes a lot of courage. A lot of my teachers may not have been religious, or maybe they were and I didn't know. Whatever the case I feel that having religion as a small part of my formal education gave my schooling a special feeling. I felt the teachers knew they had a purpose, they weren't just doing this for the money or prestige. There was a mission to give their knowledge to those willing to take the challenge. Part of that challenge is discovering who you are. Knowing yourself. Hopefully I can explain this better one day in the future.


Without faith I don't think that I'd have done half of the things I have done or hope to accomplish. I want to have a nice nest egg but (much to my parent's chagrin) money for me isn't everything. Basically I want to help people. You can't take money with you when you die, You don't really even take memories. But if you leave people with a legacy, then you truly have succeeded.
























Why would God have created mankind if he were only to focus on himself? Helping others, giving of yourself, it's the only way to make you feel whole.

To Be

Today in class we were talking about the present tense. I was having a hard time because it seems the previous teachers neglected to actually teach them this concept and thus, they had no idea what I was talking about. It was more upsetting because these kids are in middle school and have studied English since they were in 3rd grade.

I tried to get them to form a sentence with Be. Very simple, "I am happy, I am sad, I am a student" type sentences. I think it was more difficult for them because in the Korean language you don't use grammar that way. It's a Subject Object Verb set up; this is in conflict with the Subject Verb Object of English. So saying "I am happy," is "I happy am," in Korean. Yoda talk if you may. This concept on present tense was very hard for this particular class to comprehend and I wasn't sure if it was a culture thing (seeing I had been teaching a lot of grammar this past week, where I don't think you get as much out of it when it's taught in a different language, because concepts are lost in translation) or this class was particularly slow.

I want to go with the later of my two options seeing that I have students also in middle school picking up present tense very quickly. And so as a teacher I feel sort of like I'm failing them, even though technically it's the Korean teacher failing to explain English concepts to them, so that when they have class with me they remember the lesson from the Korean teacher.

It's also very interesting how we attach very significant meaning to such a small set of words. I am, you are, he she it is, we are, you are (pl) they are. So many different combinations can come out of these words it's endless. We can say how we are feeling, how old we are, if we've found that special someone. Present tense is really amazing in its simplicity, and how we can take a complex idea and whittle it down to the most simple sentence.

Also interesting is how we put ourselves in boxes and define ourselves with such simplicity. "I am a doctor, I am a student," We (especially those in our twenties and especially Americans) love to label ourselves. It's as if having something interesting on the end of "I am" will show how well you're doing for yourself. That you're going places and living the "American Dream." Yes, if you can't contract what you're doing into condensed phrases people will get bored and not listen to you. But, on the other hand I feel that if you're really doing something worthwhile, and you really feel it defines the "I am" question one shouldn't be able to sum it up in one sentence.

We're so lucky in the English language to have hundreds of thousands of words to use. They describe how we feel, what we're doing and why we think a certain way, native speakers most certainly take this vocabulary for granted. Most people who have English as a second language say that they have so much more freedom to express how they feel because of all the words they can use.

To be, or not to be--that is the question:

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune

Or to take arms against a sea of troubles

And by opposing end them.

Hamlet. Act III, scene i

If you don't know, I absolutely love Renaissance theater. And so it's only fitting to end with an excerpt from the famous "To be or not to be" soliloquy. If you want to read the entire monologue go for it. It's a beautiful soliloquy and an amazing show of how exquisite the English language can be. Starting at "To be."

49 days...oh yea and Evan gets to buy me candy

So the posters keep popping up around school. It's also getting a bit odd because there's this guy just smiling at me all the time. I also learned that if I buy $5.50 worth of stuff at Dunkin I too can have a poster!

Beyond the posters keeping me entertained, I have started taking an online TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) course. So far I haven't learned anything new since being in the classroom. I guess these 10 or 11 months have taught me the ins and outs of EFL (or ESL or whatever you want to call it) classroom teaching. Because I've taken several foreign languages and advanced English classes I already knew a lot of grammar terminology, which has also presented itself in the book. The course has been pretty good giving a few new ideas here and there. However, some ideas such as group work (at least in Korea) are ideas founded by those not in the classroom: Korean students don't like to make mistakes, so unless they are very comfortable they wont speak up in class and definitely wont do group work. It's also they'll just speak in their native tongue...

I already have finished two of the modules and am on the third. My next step is taking a midterm. I'm not too sure what it involved but I'm sure I'll do well seeing I have experience and retain information well, so I wont be studying completely new stuff. I'm excited about completing the course. This means that I can teach basically anywhere once I get it. Most countries require you have a degree and TEFL to teach. So now if I want to go to Japan or Europe or South America I can. I can also ask for more money and benefits.

Also if you didn't know...(which I didn't and I live here) March 14th is White day. Now, as funny as that sounds from a country that is obsessed with all things western. It has nothing to do with race or culture, well ook consumer culture, yes. It started in Japan, because it's traditional that women give men chocolate on Valentine's Day in Japan and Korea. So because of this, the candy industry thought, "Why isn't there a day men can give women candy, then it's Valentine sales all over again!" So one month after Valentine's Day is White Day.

Lucky me, oh that's also why there are posters at Dunkin.

Korea Runs On Dunkin

It seems these past two weeks, Monday has been a day of discovery. Last week I discovered the level of laziness in my office. Yesterday I discovered I literally work with women whose level of maturity is at that of a teenage girl. Koreans, especially Korean women love coffee shops. It's where they go talk and gossip. And you thought Krispy Kreme had a good following. Sort of like when women in America go have dinner or like my mother, go walking every week with a friend. I personally like shopping...way too much.

Anyway, in our town we have a Dunkin Donuts. It's always packed with people especially women. Now everyday my coworkers go get coffee for the day. Usually Dunkin coffee, they then are able to start their day. Yesterday they come back with posters of a Dunkin spokesman, which they decide to hang up at the school. One in her classroom and one above her desk. Literally I almost laughed outloud at the parallel between a teen girls bedroom and our school. The one where he is holding donuts is an actual poster in our school. We don't have him in a tux yet...if only.

Granted he is very good looking. I forgot his name but students said he is a Korean drama actor. And do they love dramas. I guess I should do more research, so as to know who is "hanging" out in my school.


This just reminds me of college where the guys would put posters of girls and the girls posters of guys. I guess I'm a weirdo and had posters of swimmers, surfers, Classic movie stars and inspirational stuff. Looking beyond that, seeing a poster does make you a little less angry to be somehwere you don't want to be. It's nice to giggle.

Oh life and surprises.

Aspire

"Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given then to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It's a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing."


I read in a paper once that Michelle Obama was never one to give out compliments in law school because she had a "That's what you're supposed to do" attitude. I definitely feel that same way about things. This can be seen as good or bad. It takes a lot to impress me, I don't like models or celebrities or even pictures sometimes because makeup can make anyone look good. Getting good grades is always a good thing, but can someone apply that knowledge or did they just cram? I'm a bit ciritical at times and it's because: I have friends who I've seen at morning practice at 6am and right after a swim meet who look gorgeous, no makeup, no photoshopping or good lighting. I have friends that get stellar grades and couldn't get a job because of lack of experiance and friends who got good grades and have an awesome job because they could apply what they knew.


Great people didn't become great because they were told they're doing awesome all the time. They had hardship and pain, but they also had something they wanted to aspire to. The worst and best example is Adolf Hitler. He got rejected by a girl, art school and almost was killed in WWI. He is part of an inept government and is able to raise Germany up from the ashes of the past...and then become one of the most evil men ever to live. On a more politically correct note (Also, I'm not saying in anyway what Hitler did was good because genocide of any group of people is wrong and I'm glad that the allies prevaild...go America!) take Albert Einstien. He failed fourth grade math and everyone called him stupid when he was little...Megan Quann 2000 Olympic swimmer. When she first started swimming she could barely make it one lap of the pool and needed to stop every few yards to rest. She was forced to swim with six and seven year olds.

So aspiring to something wheather is be a goal or status isn't about how many compliments you get or how much support you get along the way, but how you see challenges. It's that reason that I have a hard time communicating with people younger than me. As stated in my last post, a lot of people in my generation and younger don't understand that if you want to do something do it on your own terms. If you need money, get a job, if you want to be on a sports team, practice until you're so weak you're shaking and can't see in front of your face because it's so dark.

I feel alot of people expect to have help along the way, and sometimes you have to go it by yourself. I'm lucky enough to have parents who have taught me to think and be myself. I'd like to say they possess a lof of Southern values, even if they aren't from the South. For example, if I wanted to do something like swimming, I did it with their help because they saw I had talent and it was a passion. But if I wanted to go somewhere, I paid for it because being self sufficient is also something they wanted me to learn.

So I did get help along the way, as did a lot of my college classmates. But, maybe going to school in the South, we all learned to aspire. I have debutants as friends and sorority sisters. They have trust funds, an entire wardrobe of Lilly, Polo, Lacoste and REAL Louis bags. Yet, they went to college and have jobs in something they love doing and part of that is that they love being on their own. Freedom is more important to them than having money.

And so, it is a surprise that I like teaching because most kids and teenagers and even my generation don't really choose to aspire and it's depressing. But, when you have those kids who do want to do something special, then it's all worth it.

Economy Woes of the Jobless

Let's hear it for America's Sweetehearts But I must confess I'm in love with my own sins
Fall Out Boy, America's Suitehearts

So if you're an up to date person and have noticed that...the economy is bad, hopefully you're more aware of how much things are and being responsible. I speak a little hipocritically seeing that I still enjoy a well made outfit to the bargin brand (I haven't grown in height since high school, I'm a size 0 and probably will be the rest of my life. So when I buy clothes I buy them with the idea I'm buying this to wear for the long haul.) and will get a nice meal once a week. But I don't buy chachkis or as many beauty things as I did, and I'm really good with groceries as well.

It's a bit upsetting just a few years ago people my age were getting jobs with relative ease and spending money as if there were no end not caring about cost. I have read that there are people like that still out there, teenagers who don't realize the enormity of this situation. And they continue to spend, spend, spend. But sadly they'll learn one day.

The exchange rate is now $1 to $1.56 and in no way looking like it'll be changing anytime soon due to the fact the Korean government actually WANTS to keep the exchange rate low so as to get foreign investors and export goods cheaply. Which is stupid, and especially bad for all of the foreigners. But it is still a job and if you don't have one it's a good place to go to get experiance and make money, so long as you're smart about it.

I'm not in the states so I'm not sure how bad it is but, I do know a bunch of people who have jobs and who are getting new jobs or promotions, so yes, it's hard to get a job: I find though that if you're qualified for a job and not seeking a ridiculous starting salary the jobs are there. It seems to me that those who have graduated in the last few years are still living in the time of asking for big starting salaries and getting them. Which is a time gone by in this day and age.

Also, it seems that (not to boast or anything) but when I was laid off last year, I was still getting phone calls for interviews and had several job offers, so I feel it's also not that there are no jobs; the jobs are just going to the most qualified candidates. These companies are in a tight situation and can't afford to "groom" a new employee as much as they could in the past. Yes, good grades are important and in no way am I downplaying that. I'm simply saying that putting what you learned into action is now the most important aspect for employers. Those who have retained information and can put those skills into use. I'm mainly speaking for liberal arts educations, most of those in technical of specialized degreees such as engineering or the medical feild will always have jobs, because we'll always need them.

Bill Maher had a good visual of the housing situation on home values. There was another one but I forget what it was on. The point is, shouldn't someone have seen that...I don't know there was a ridiculous spike in housing value and it was too good tp be true??? I'm no expert but, it makes sense to me.

I guess that's all we can do right now, is stick to the things that makes sense. Take risks still yes, but be responsible for what you're doing. It's one thing to want to own a house or go on a trip, but it's an entirely different thing to take out a mortgage you can't afford or borrow money from someone to finance it.

Montag, lundi, lunes, hwal, Monday

So another Monday came and went, not too much going on. I experienced the completely laziness of either all of the teachers ar my school or the administration. Basically think of two rooms side by side separated by a wall. Now to get to one room you must walk out of the one your are in, walk into the hallway, make a left and then turn left again into the next room. It takes about ten seconds to do this. However, due to inconvenience a door is being crafted from a hole in the wall of the one room to the next, because God forbid we get a little exercise!

That is my Monday story of ridiculousness.

So I study a bit...

First of all thanks everyone for the support. My last posts recently have been a little down but I'm so glad to have the advice and support of everyone, it makes me really happy. Second of all I did mean for the last post to be a bit humorous. I mean, I was standing in the teachers lounge literally begging my co-teacher to tell me who it was, while she was so afraid it'd get my feelings hurt... I thought it was funny at least.

Anyway, good news, we went out tonight to a local foreigner bar called All That Jazz, Jazz for short. There were a lot of people there, mostly newcomers due to the fact a Greenpeace ship had taken port in Masan for a little bit. We ended up speaking with a guy from Germany. I had started studying German earlier this month. And so when he asked if would speak a little bit I obliged. I said "excuse me" in German, it's one of my favorite words to say. And to my delight he said I sounded very good! I love when natives of a language or country say I do something well. Sometimes I'll be reading hangul and a Korean will say it sounds good(which makes me happy because they're so picky) and that I'm not butchering the language. It makes the studying and research all worth it. Sort of like no one can tell you're a Yankee when you're in the South or a tourist in New york City... I'd say both are good accomplishments.

Although, being from Maryland and having a bit of a Baltimorian flair to my speech makes things a bit easier when you're using a Southern drawl because your words melt together anyway.

As for the reason I started studying German. During the holidays we watched the TV movie Shrek the Halls. If you're familiar with the movies the Three Pigs are German and have accents and all. In Shrek the Halls there's a dialouge that goes a little something like this...

"We are pigs yah?
Yah.
And ve are in zee blanket yah?
Yah.
So this is funny zen yah?
Yah! Yah! Zis is funny! Yah! Good one!"

After hearing this I couldn't help but think that accent and random German words were absolutley amazing and I had to learn German. Also, I've been reading a lot of books set in Germany and felt to understand the country and culture more I had to learn the languge, more on that later.

And so 60 days till I'm in the sunshine of Thailand...

Auf Wiedersehen!

Feelings

Today I was told that one of the parents called and complained about me. According to her I was ignoring her child and not helping them. I was told this by the Korean teacher with whom I shared the class with. When I asked her who it was all she could say was that she didn't want to hurt my feelings. I explained that I wouldn't be able to eliminate the problem If I didn't know who it was.

After a few minutes of repeating this and trying to get an answer she finally told me. It turns out it's one of the brattiest, mamma's boys at the school who probably would go home after being rude to me, not doing any work and saying bad words to me in Korean, and cry to his mother how I would ignore him...

I just thought that this was such a strange cultural difference. Had I been in the South I would have been told exactly who said what, when and why. It was nice way to end the day someone caring about my feelings, but it did make me miss home a lot because I really miss people just being honest. But in 61 days I'm making a break for it :)

Time stoppage

It's good to have plans. I'm a planner and have been since college. I suppose that's why I was good at Marketing and PR, you plan everything, nothing is ever left up to chance and if it is a good PR practitioner is good at improvising. But lately I feel that I'm planning too much. Due to stress at work and my living situation I feel everyday I want to plan for my future because my present is so miserable. I mean seriously. Imagine you're supposed to be teaching one language and around another language all day. None of your coworkers actually utilize the language either. Planning is the only way to keep me sane these days.

I've been thinking about a lot of things, Ph.D, Master's degree, teaching, writing, traveling. Part of my problem is, that because I'm in a situation where I can't be spontaneous my planning side has taken over. I miss just doing things and having the freedom to. Maybe it's the culture I'm in. Koreans aren't spontaneous, they're predictable and thus I guess I sort of feel trapped, I have no out until April. In collegeI always had this calm side of me. Even when I was stressed out I never showed it. Sort of Scarlett O'Hara don't get mad get even type deal. However, these days I'm always wearing my heart on my sleeve and getting upset or annoyed or completely over emotional about things. I know I'm an emotional person and have to get over that issue. My parents told me and my coaches told me. Without some sort of outlet for me to balance things I'm going to have to suck it up and find my happy place I suppose.

And so lets look back to happier times in fun pictures

Two more months...

"All I can say is that there's a sweetness here, a Southern sweetness, that makes sweet music. . . . If I had to tell somebody who had never been to the South, who had never heard of soul music, what it was, I'd just have to tell him that it's music from the heart, from the pulse, from the innermost feeling. That's my soul; that's how I sing. And that's the South."

-- Al Green


I need a beach and some sunshine on a Carolina shore. I need some classic party songs with my friends and to not be wearing three layers of clothes and still be freezing inside. For all of you lucky enough to be in the Carolinas, I envy you, I really do.

This isn't your grandmother's history class

History is a kind of introduction to more interesting people than we can possibly meet in our restricted lives; let us not neglect the opportunity. ~Dexter Perkins


So I may have mentioned it, or probably haven't but have been thinking it over so several weeks about the idea of getting my Ph.D. This is just in it's elementary stages now but seeing the state of the world as it is and seeing I'm the person I am, I feel this profession would be the best possible thing for me. Ever since I was a child I remember loving history. My friends were running around Gettysburg complaining of how boring it was; I would be stopped in front of every sign and poster set up, reading and retaining the information. I was fascinated by history, and still am. I loved watching re-enactors and learning about the past.

During breaks in college I would drive up and just walk around the battlegrounds and speak to the actors. I'd go to museums in Baltimore and learn all I could about the history of the places I was visiting. For me history wasn't about things that happened, and that the past is the past, but events that have most certainly shaped our lives. History was about everyday people doing extraordinary things. I've always thought the most interesting question would be "What if you were born in a different era, a different time?" For me if I was born earlier would I still have been adopted, or even been from Korea? Would the friends I have been in America or in Ireland and Europe?

Basically history is a compilation of memories. We make history all the time everyday. And so with that in mind I see no better time to consider pursuing a Ph.D in history. For example, the North Korean crisis is directly correlated to how failed the American troops were in the Korean war when it came to the education and history of Korea. they performed so many faux pas that I'm sometimes surprised they managed to save the southern part of the peninsula.

History is so important to culture and that's what I'd like to study during my time in a graduate program. How culture and nationalism have effected our modern world. At the G-20 meeting this past year our then president George W. was snubbed by every world leader. One, maybe because they had to go to the bathroom and didn't have time for formalities. However, most likely it was because of America's policies towards the rest of the world. Overseas Americans have a reputation of being ignorant and shall I suggest, unrefined when it comes to interacting with other cultures (actually we're ignorant when it comes to interacting with members from different social stratification in the U.S. as well) and everyone mentions it. Reading guide books isn't enough when you're planning a visit, depending on what you want to get out of the trip. You need first hand accounts and really learn about a country to get a full experience.

Coming to Korea I thought I knew what I needed to know about the country. As it turns out I was in culture shock for a good six months. Most of it had to do with my American values and the other half with the idea of identity. Had I studied up on my history more I would have probably had a better insight on what Koreans value, why they act the way they do and what I could have done to help myself.

As it turns out I'm preparing for a Thailand trip and have already started reading up for it. It's a bit difficult seeing we don't have a lot of materials in English so proper online resources will have to do. I hope that when I'm in Thailand I can just appreciate, not understand. I'd like to know where they've been to see how they live at this point in time.

I'll keep everyone updated on the career choice as it's a huge step financally and mentally (lots of thinking) but I'm excited. Althought right now I'm really excited about a rice and cheese omelet.

Passion

The most beautiful make-up of a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy. ~Yves Saint Laurent

I just found this YSL quote and I love it. The real thing is always more beautiful than something you can buy, but, the problem is most sturggle to find that passion which makes us beautiful, and so we must at some point in time take the easy route and wear cosmetics to cover the fact that our passions have not been put to use yet, and thus we can not be seen for our natural beauty.

The picture to the right is of Walt Disney in Orlando, Florida before any of Disney World had been created. The cation reads "It's kind of fun to do the impossible."

If anyone knows me fairly well they soon find out I'm a super passionate person. It doesn't really matter what that passion is. It's been everything from sports to my sorority to my career and having a future pet. I still have passions for all of these things as well. I just have always been a really passionate person I suppose. I don't see how people can just go through the motions of life. Just doing things to do them.

Swimming is still the sport I'm always going to be passionate about. I know one day I'll go back to it on a Master's team or even (if I'm feeling up to the challenge a U.S.A. swimming team) it's just always going to be with me. I think that's why I don't keep up with all the meet results and stats. It makes me too sad to not be able to do something I love. It's never been hard for me to be passionate about anything I liked. I figured I liked something and I was pretty good at it, why not try and see where it can go. I don't think there has ever been anything that I've done and liked (key word liked) and half assed it.

I actually had a small argument with Evan about passions the other night. We were at dinner(technically it was about us not wanting to hang out with other people) and teh topc came up or us not having many friend outside of each other here. Being in the situation we are, we don't hang out with others as much as we should, I completley agree. I just don't find many of the people here the kind of friends I want to have around me. Ever since Mikey died I sort of made a promise to myself that I want to surround myself with people who inspire me and are all around good people. Yet, as fun as a lot of people are I sadly have found that those who are of true and genuine spirits are very, vew few and ridiculously far between. I made so many true friends at college (which I suppose gives me a bias look at the South and how great it is) and it's very hard to meet people when you know how loyal, kind and amazing people really can be.

I've always also been one to believe that if you want something, have a dream, want to obtain a goal whatever you call it, you're the only one who can make it happen. It has to come from inside you. Passion and initiative for anything must come from an innate sense that something "feels right" and only then will anyone really be happy. I suppose I could draw a parallel to this feeling and sorority recruitment. You meet all of the different organizations throughout a week, learn about them, what they're like and finally choose on the basis of not who is the prettiest, or the richest, or can offer you the most (because who really does know that after a week) but where you feel you belong. I've never regretted being a Chi Omega. I knew I belonged right away. I suppose it's also my sorority's fault for being so wonderful and offering me so many oppurtunities and once in a lifetime friends that I can't see why anyone would want to be around people who are less than extrodinary.

I've had sisters who had and are battling cancer, have gotten jobs not because of connections but because they're honestly that good at what they do. I've had sisters be successful in what they love to do most, I have fun with new sisters I have just met and am best friends and will be for a really long time. Most importantly my sisters have shown me that being a good person is the most important thing to be while we are on this earth. I love all of my sisters so much so (I'm sorry I'll probably forget some of y'all) Susanna, Brandi, Jenn, Pizzi, Stefanie, Big sis, both my Littles, Glil, and GGlil Diane, Autumn, Catrina, Danielle, Shelly, Julie, JWall, Funari, SB, Merri, Adge, Holly, Irish Princess, Mandy, Jas, Rohde, All the Emily's, Abby, Baliey, Brooksey, Boo boo, Briana, Kaylee, Amanda, Diggs, Susan, Wu swim Chi O's, Steph Carlson, Evie, Jordan, Twin, Allison, Rachael, Rachel A, JBower, Hannah, Kristina, Hally, Heather, Wendy, Misty, Stomber, Cyn, Jaimie, Ashely, Ashley Meredith, Tracy, Nicola and Teal and everyone else, Thank God I have y'all in my life. We're not all best friends but I've learned a little something from all of you and you can't really measure that.

Anyway, forgive the digressing, passion, it's innate and it's something that most people strive to have in their daily life. i can easily say that at the moment my current job lacks a bit of passion. The staff is under educated about the language they're teaching I'm completely being used for free time for the other teachers and I lack all materials necessary for students to learn better. With that said, I do love teaching which until now has been an undiscovered passion I suppose. I like explaining things and breaking down something I know a lot about. I love being around kids who want to learn (another reason I don't like teaching here a lot...no motivation at all, we're a sort of lower end school so the quality of teaching isn't good but the price is right for parents who just want their children to go to a school and don't relaly emphasize the learning part, or behavior) kids who want to be better at English.

And so, having alack of passion for work and anything in my life at the moment is a bit depressing. I don't even like going to the gym all that much but in that idea I discovered a new passion for running. So I guess it's like anything in life; you have to go through the rough patches to find out what you really want and what you're supposed to be doing.